Every now and then I hear about a Hollywood couple breaking up and I feel sad. Weird isn't it? I don't know these people, never met 'em, never will. Why should I care? I've not figured that out, but I have made a study, as The Pop Tart, of what breaks up most of the marriages, and relationships, we read about. The male ego.
My thesis:
Things will go along swimmingly with a H-wood hot couple until she becomes bigger then him. Now this thesis only applies to couples where both members are in the public eye. If one is a behind the scenes H-wood worker or not in the business then it's a much different picture.
Okay, the male ego. He can't take it when she gets bigger then him. Was there ever any doubt that Halle Berry and her musician hubby were going to split? Sure he was cheating but the writing was on the wall as soon as she won her Oscar. Same goes for Helen Hunt and Hank Azaria? She was already composing her irreconcilable differences as she thanked the academy! And think of the first Bennifer. J-Lo on her way up, Ben on his way down. They break up and he takes up with a lesser Jennifer (who seems nicer I'll grant) and they're married in record time. Ditto Benjamin Bratt and Julia Roberts. How long after their divorce before he married his model and started having some babies?
Babies are the second part of the equation. If a power couple is equally powerful but she's starting to edge him out then the babymaking starts. This part of the thesis has two different scenarios. First response to her getting more attention: If they're like Tom and Nicole or Brad and Jen, then as she starts to edge him out, he sheds her and takes up with someone else. That someone else is almost immediately having his baby (Katie H. and Angelina, need I say more?). Proves his manliness to the nth degree.
The second way is to keep her and keep your ego. Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones - equally powerful - but she's still rising and he's about done. What to do, what to do? Get her pregnant of course. Notice that when CZJ wins her Oscar she is hugely pregnant with Michael's child. Worked out nicely didn't it? Proof of his vigor on display to the whole world. Brad and Angelina fit this one as well as the first. She's already pregnant. Need I say more?
None of this is to say women don't have egos. In H-wood couples it's all about ego, they are performers after all. No, the women have egos. But if they're the lesser success in the marriage, Newman and Woodward, Hanks and Wilson, Travolta and Preston, women are more able to take the blow to the ego. Society says it's okay for them to be less powerful. They have nothing to prove.
Which brings me to the sad breakup that started my pistons firing. Chad and Hillary. I really thought they were going to weather it. She won her Oscar but he did a well-reviewed turn on ER. Seemed like he was dealing. Now we hear they've separated and have been for a while. I'm wondering if that second Oscar nom finally did them in?
Any couples you can think of to disprove my thesis?
nonanon -
I did think of Reese and Ryan and know that they sort of kill my theory a little. They were close to a break-up around the time Legally Blonde became such a hit, then they went into intensive therapy, or so I read in the tabs anyway.
Seeing them at the globes last night, it looked like they've weathered the storm. 'Course I'd be curious to see where they are a year from now since she just won the GG and may win an Oscar.
Pop Tart said...
12:34 PM
sex.
it's whats happening or not happening in the bedroom.
just a thought....
K
Anonymous said...
12:51 PM
Yeah. I do wonder if the ego hit in public affect the ego in the bedroom? Seems pretty likely to me.
Could affect her too of course. I don't mean to lay this all on the guys, only kinda sorta. The she in the relationship could definitely think she's meant for bigger and better things. Both outside and inside the bedroom.
Anonymous said...
4:37 PM
Well, lots of dead or near-dead couples may still count:
Newman and Woodward? Paul never dumped Linda, she died on him. Likewise, Yoko and her John.
Lunt and Fonteyn. Jessica and Hugh. Read that Gable almost did himself in after Lombard died... Of course, George and Gracie, they were EQUALLY famous. A team. Umm, kinda like Bud & Lou... oops, they were pervy.
How about Michael J. Fox and Tracy whats-her-name? Okay, I liked it better when he loved that chubby Full House chick. Similar B-movie level couple, Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgewick (did I get that right?).
Travolta and Preston? Um, Kelsey Grammar and his Playboy bunny? Oh, what about Sarah Jessica and her boytoy? Loosen up your criteria and we could do better. Very hard to think of "equally" celebrity couples.
Aw hell, I think J. Lo and Mark A. are destined to be 2gthr4evr. Whaddya think?
The Laundress said...
6:58 PM
I thought about the Melrose Divorce a lot when I saw the news item. Do they fit the profile? I don't think they're divorcing because she got bigger, they've just burned out.
If you look you'll find a lot of star couples hit the 12-13 year mark and go caput. Not sure what that's about, but wonder if the same is true for civilians? I know there's that old 7-year-itch, but with celebs if they make it past five it seems they're more likely to break up after ten years.
I'll have to study this.
Anonymous said...
2:53 PM
uh, really stupid contribution I feel compelled to make:
exotic animal vet, treating my creaky cockatiel, told me that if you can get a cockatiel past age ten, they are likely to make it to age twenty. He said cats, same thing.
So I am really hoping to celebrate my kitties eleventh birthday soonish.
Now creeping up on 14th anniversary with husband but we ain't a celebrity couple... guess it is all numerology?
Nancy Reagan and Princess Di were right, consult with the stars about the Stars.
Whoa, now I should be blacklisted from posting comments -- you don't deserve this ramble!
Sorry, meaning to be your friend...
silly laundress
The Laundress said...
8:18 PM
And how about Valerie B. and her rocker hubby? Eddie Van Halen? I think they made it to 20 years but then broke up. What's that about?
Anonymous said...
7:47 AM
Oh, I think the pregnancy is to keep us down! Get us knocked up, they think, then there's no way we'll be able to continue upon our rise to greatness at breakneck speed. We'll be too busy dealing with all the labors of childrearing to continue upon the fast track to greatness, faster than the man that is. Display of their vigor? Yes. I concur that that accounts for part of the variance. However, one must consider more sinister causes...
autogato said...
7:19 AM